Consider these common events.
You are talking to your boss. Nodding head in agreement to everything – because this is how you think you should behave.
And what does the internal monologue says?
“This jerk is again trying to talk me into taking up that silly project that is not going to work. He always tries to push his brainless ideas on me. This son of …. is wasting my talent.”
In the afternoon, the boss calls you, offers coffee and tells you, “You have really done well since you joined us. Very few could do that in their first job. I would now like you to lead the group. You have good ideas. Feel free to work them out in your own way. Just let me know when you need something.”
Now what happens to the inner dialogue? It takes a U-turn and goes positive. You are no more abusing him in mind. You are in fact feeling confident and reassured – your self-esteem got a boost.
You just heard that Paul got promoted to vice president. You congratulate him and tell that you are really happy to hear the news.
But the inner voice says – “This Company is only for smooth talkers. I am no good… everyone knows I worked hard and did things Paul stayed away from… I deserved it but the boss likes Paul… He is so smooth… Boss always agrees with him… I should be working elsewhere where I will be appreciated…”
You are hurt, feeling low and are jealous.
Two hours later Paul approaches you, “I am not quite sure the boss made the right decision. Everyone including me was hoping to see you promoted. Your ability to get things done is exemplary. I really consider myself fortunate to have you around me.”
Now the mental chatter shifts gear; is no more a voice of hurt or jealous.
Mitch saw Laura talking to John, both appeared to enjoy and talk freely. He has been seeing Laura for few months.
The mental talk: “I hate John. He is so well built and handsome – girls fall for him. I am just an ugly bundle of bones. I am really nothing. Laura probably doesn’t like me. No girl will ever like me.” It is a script of low self-esteem.
Moments later Laura meets him. She tells him, “You know something Mitch? I really feel supported when you are around. Talking to you clears my mind. You are so balanced and caring.”
Suddenly Mitch finds his mind silenced. He is filled with confidence and energy.
Don’t Get Carried Away by the Mental Talk
When you look at your mental chatter, you will notice that it is telling an instant truth about your emotional state – in fact it is tied to it. Whether you like it or not, the inner voice is coming straight from your subconscious mind. It is nothing but a commentary of spontaneous judgment and expression, based more on immediate feelings and less on the bigger reality.
As you noticed, the direction of mental chatter can change suddenly based on a new input. One thing is very clear – it does not reflect the true larger picture. It just reflects a narrow emotional reaction so it is always going to be a distorted reality.
Reality of Mental Chatter
To explore further, try watching your mental chatter for few days. Make sure not to get involved or carried away by it. Just watch dispassionately, write down if you want to – the idea is to understand its characteristics.
You are likely to come up with the following conclusions:
It changes with fresh inputs. When there are no inputs it acquires a habitual tone based on your average feelings and tendencies.
The inner monologue can’t be counted on as reliable or sensible conversation; it is just the opposite. It can’t become a base for your interaction with other people.
The chatter points towards your intrinsic tendencies and emotional make up. In this aspect analyzing it can provide you good insight about you.
The more you get involved with the nonsensical internal talk, the stronger it gets. Ultimately it begins to affect your behavior.
Now decide for yourself how much importance you would give to your mental conversation.
Not much, I hear you saying. And that is the correct answer!
How to Stop Mental Chatter
All stress and tensions originate in the excessive thinking, particularly when it is out of control. A relaxed mind has few thoughts. Speaking in terms of brainwave frequencies, too much mental chatter means high frequency wave, and relaxed mental states go with low frequency brainwaves.
Therefore, at Real U Holistic Self Discovery with the Hypnosis and NLP,the Sleep Sancruary technique offers a simple yet effective way to cool down the mind. Alpha wave audios are commonly used for regular relaxation; the theta and delta waves take you further down to states of deepr relaxation possible only through meditation. For a systematic training through well-designed brainwave audios, we recommend you visit www.irealself.com and check our mp3 store or come in for a free 30 minute get acquanited session